After a while I started using cannabis very often, it went from a couple of times a month to a few times a week, eventually a few times each day.
I was pretty much high all the time and that was the only thing I was focusing on. If the focus was not on smoking more then it would be to go and get some more. I refused to realize and accept to myself that I was stuck in a giant fog, a hole, an addiction.
I fooled myself into thinking that it did only good, and that there was nothing wrong with what I did, such damn bullshit.
My motivation, my inspiration and my drivie started slowly but surely to fade, and the reality consisted only of foggy days and thick smoke clouds. That was the first thing I did when I woke up and the last thing I did before I went to bed. All the money i ever made was used to buy more and the only thing that made me happy at the time was to smoke a little more.
2015 was the year I started practicing yoga. I went to high school and jumped on a warehouse job, I knew when I took the job that it would not be long term one, I wanted to go and travel and that was exactly what I planned to do!
I was already on a path in life where I felt a huge resistance to feel stuck, having a 7-4 job, an apartment, to be bound to something was scared the hell out of me.
I felt lost and frustrated, I really wanted to get away from things. Away from Sweden, away from all old friends and famil.
I just felt so incredibly tired of my life.